Today we will begin to figure out who you want to invite and what that means for your Thanksgiving dinner. Today’s assignment is a pen and paper exercise—you can use your laptop or phone. We don’t really care; use what works for your brain.
Who do you want to invite to Thanksgiving Dinner, and who do you have to invite for the safe of family peace? Yes, boundaries are a thing, but sometimes compromises are made, and we grit our teeth and invite that one relative that we would just rather not. Sometimes things can be unpleasant without being a compromise of our boundaries and morals.
Let’s plan our guest list
As you work through today’s exercise, Please keep the following in mind.
Where will dinner be held?
Will everyone be eating inside your home? Is it a casual outdoor buffet? Do you need to think about where to put coats and shoes? What if the weather is bad, do you need an alternative plan?
Do you need to consider parking arrangements?
Seating
Do you have enough chairs? Place settings? Will you use disposable or will you rent? You will need to make reservations quickly if you choose to rent.
When will you have Thanksgiving dinner?
Will you be serving a late lunch or early dinner, or do you plan on having it as a traditional evening meal? In our family, we tend to have an early dinner, around 3 or 4 pm, and then snack on leftovers later after all the leftovers have been done and the dishes have been put away.
How far will the guest need to travel?
Will they need somewhere to stay overnight? Is this something you will have to accommodate, or can they handle it independently?
Allergies, special diets and food sensitivities
Do any of your guests have dietary restrictions that are going to change how you need to prepare some or all of your food? Do you have the knowledge and capability to do so in a manner that prioritizes their health over your comfort?
If you do not have that knowledge, you should work with that guest to ensure their health and safety. That is your responsibility as the host. Please do not take that responsibility lightly.
Social Discomfort
When the guests walk in the door, will they be starving and cranky after a long drive?
Do they tend to get uncomfortable in all social situations and need to be assigned a task to ease some tension?
Are there known tensions between family members?
Does anyone have a problem with drugs or alcohol? Should this be a dry Thanksgiving (we are referencing alcohol, not the turkey)?
I know this can feel like a lot.
Remember that not everyone you invite will be able to come. However, it’s always better to be prepared than to be caught off guard.
What considerations do you keep in mind when making your guest list for Thanksgiving?
For me, my family are always guests at my parents’ Thanksgiving. This means a high risk of my older sis attending, so we’ve found that, with my parents’ permission, it’s best to invite someone she doesn’t know too well, so she feels she has to be on her best behavior. My mom loves having lots of folks around the table & we all help out with food & chores, so it works pretty well to help keep conflict down, and gives us a chance to invite folks who might otherwise not be having a family meal on Thanksgiving.
I absolutely love this strategy. Not only is it kind, it gives you peace, as well. That’s a win for everyone.