Heather says
You may find this funny; it’s been a few weeks, and I’m still somewhere between puzzled and amused.
There was recently a request, from an individual, for this site to test multiple smooth stovetops and rate them by manufacturer and glass type. I am hoping that this person just doesn’t realize that:
a) that’s what Consumer Reports is for
b) I’d have to take out a sizable loan
c) this website is my second job, my head hurts thinking about the amount of time that would involve
d) even I don’t cook enough to seriously test multiple ranges
e) the ad revenue for that post or series would never begin to repay the amount of money it would take to create, it probably wouldn’t even chip away at the interest
f) I’m saving up to have a gas line run to the kitchen, the sooner I can kiss our smooth top range goodbye, the happier I’ll be.
I promise I didn’t cause the bubbles in your smooth top range, contact the manufacturer and if you don’t like their answer, don’t buy from them again. Yes, it sucks. You may not get your money back, especially if you didn’t follow the manufacturer’s guidelines.
It is kind of funny, right? Except when it isn’t. I’ve been deleting a lot of rude comments lately. I don’t know if it is my tolerance has lessened or if it’s just a symptom of the way the internet is changing. Respectful disagreement is fine. There was recently a librarian who took umbrage that I dared suggest donating magazines as a part of decluttering. We both made assumptions, and we’re both wrong. It varies by district or region. Comments like that aren’t what I’m referring to.
The internet is a large place, and if you need someone who is going to freak out over “chemicals” cue scary hand motions, I am not your go-to girl. My kids are no longer babies, and I work full-time. My standards may not be the same as yours; I have learned just to let some things go. Yes, I take reasonable precautions when it comes to keeping the kids, dog, and hedgehog away from harmful chemicals, but the thought of a round of salmonella going through the house ensures that we will use chlorine bleach to disinfect.
Sometimes the answer to how do I fix something is, you don’t. Some things are broken beyond repair or stained permanently. Not liking that isn’t a reason to send me a nasty curse-filled email. Pump the brakes, buddy. I didn’t cause the damage and you didn’t pay me anything except a few moments of your time.
You might not like every recipe posted. That’s okay, too. I enjoy cooking; it’s my hobby and creative outlet, it doesn’t have to be yours. I try to ensure that the ingredients are available for a majority of American cooks. If the spices aren’t easily found at places like Walmart, it probably isn’t going to make the cut, unless it’s for a special occasion. I know I’ve turned my nose up at Walmart, but their grocery pick-up service? That is life-alteringly wonderful. I can get all of my grocery shopping done without having to navigate around people or deal with the checkout clerk not recognizing ginger root. I don’t have to hunt for where they hid the brown rice pasta this week? Fantastic. I give, they win my business for the grocery staples.
Have you ever seen Jim Gaffigan’s entire bit on McDonald’s? I promise this relates.
I’ve never wanted to play the my way is better than your way game. There are enough people and media outlets for that. Let’s quit pretending we don’t have our foibles and shortcomings and give each other a bit of grace.
If we can’t, I’m pulling this site over until we can speak respectfully and kindly to each other.
Eminently reasonable. Don’t hesitate to hit delete or block when you need to. This is YOUR place. Why does that fail to register with folks?
Your wisdom is your wisdom and we are lucky that you choose to share it with us.
I love your site Heather! I also appreciate everything you do, including your honesty. I also want to say that you have motivated me to try and learn things and to try to do things better. I never really thought to look up the science behind things until I read your posts. There are some of us out here who just read and typically remain silent. So now I will speak up and say: You are appreciated and thank-you for all your helpfulness!
I rarely comment, but I want you to know you offer so many great answers to questions and this is a great resource. I am so sorry that people don’t realize how to treat others – online or in person. Hang in there. Don’t make the rest of us do without your posts because of the few rude ones. I know many bloggers have had to just close comments. I know you are gracious about answering questions, but if this is what you are having to put up with, it might be an option.
Just a note to encourage you. Your common sense advice on varied topics is greatly appreciated by me as well as countless others. Shame on the self-important, egotistical know-it-alls who are incapable of considering any point of view that does not totally match up with theirs; they seem to be everywhere today. Don’t let a bunch of boring bullies discourage you from providing us with your excellent service. AND to the bullies, like my granny used to say”if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all!”
I shouldn’t get surprised at this sort of thing anymore. But I still do. Unbelievable. I know you know that I have used and appreciated my fair share of your tips and recipes and love what you do. If all of us happy readers commented more, we’d drown out the grumpy-heads. I’ll try to do my share. Thanks for all you do.
I’m sorry you’ve been hit by the nasties – people who wouldn’t talk rudely or worse live and in technocolor, but hide behind their computers to spew venom.
I fear it won’t stop, however. You’re being reasonable, and a small, vocal minority will spew. So as Mari said in the comment above mine, delete – and do so the second your realize someone isn’t playing nice. You are under no obligation to read ruther.
Thank you for the wonderful Jim McGaffican lesson!
Heather,
Sometimes there are just ignorant people that have nothing better to do. They hide behind the computer and bully. Not that you need anyone’s validation, you do a great job! The tips and hints you provide are useful and appreciated. Thank you for sharing with us! Have a great day!
High five Heather! LOL Rudeness is not limited to the internet, oh gosh no! On the way to work this morning I had 3 people avoid holding a door for me to exit. Like, NO MANNERS, NO CLASS IN MY BOOK!
I have to say, your comment “pump the brakes buddy”, that was hilarious, I have to remember that one!
I think you handled the topic with aplomb, humour and class! Love reading your articles and appreciate the time you take cooking and sharing your recipes.
SHOWS YOU CARE!
Keep up the great work!
There is so much said here. Covers a host of topics – political correctness, impolite people, judgements from others. Yup eloquently articulated it all very well. I enjoy your site and experiences ver much!
I am a newby to your posts and agree with Wendy, Kathy and Mari. Also, I am sure you feel better now 🙂
I enjoy your posts and you enjoy posting – so don’t let silly people get to you. Think sometimes ignoring such rude and uneducated people are far more irritating to them than to actually respond.
No, just them stew in their horrible attitudes!
I always read your posts and really enjoy “doing” some of them. Having taught for 35 years, I saw such a decline in manners, respect, etc. that it was unbelievable! Just ignore the creeps and keep giving us the great ideas that you do!
I wish I could take all those rude people out behind the wood-shed and “whomp ’em good.” but all I can do is apologize for the rudeness of some of my fellow inhabitants of this plants. PLEASE – do not give up. I, and zillions of others, look forward to. and treasure your delightful and useful material.
I rarely leave comments and I’m new to your site, but I wanted to give you my thanks for sharing your advice and experience. you’ve helped me, in particular, there’s one post that I think about a lot when I feel overwhelmed with housework that soothes me and gives me a plan of action.
Love your site and your advice. Sensitive, disagreeable people just need to put on their big girl/boy pants and get over themselves. If everyone adopted the theory of “take what you like and leave the rest” the world would be a kinder gentler place. Everyone has the option to ‘delete’ at any time; you know what they say about opinions vs. a-holes … everyone has one.
Please don’t let the ignorant few cause you to shut down this very helpful site.
Hi Heather- I am so outraged. Actually, I’m not. Loved your post. You’ve been a help over in out household in presenting options that I’d never consider when faced with a good home-ec dilemma. And the Gaffigan link- sums it up perfectly. Keep doing your awesome thing on this slice of the interweb. Looking forward to your comparison test of $5k refrigerators.
Your site is beyond awesome. I’m sorry others can’t see it. But I’ve followed you for years and I appreciate so much all that I’ve learned.
Thank you for creating this wonderful resource. I hope it will never go away.
Hello Heather
I love your site! Appreciate all that you do. I would comment all the time but didn’t want to be a “stalker”.
The Good has to out weigh the BAD. Each of us can do out part everyday and not just here. Smile more, tell the people in your home the are loved, notice and comment on the positive things they do, lovingly correct the negative.
Like the Beetles sang “All you need is love”. Easy to sing not always easy to do.
Thank you for brilliant site and self.
SLS
I think you might be my spirit animal. Except for the part where I am domestically challenged. But the rest, for sure. Thanks for the consistently great and relatable blog. Mean people suck. And the internet gives them a warped sense of reality, not realizing there is a real-live person on the other end that are affected by what they say.
–Kind of like how I sometimes say things to another driver in the privacy of my own car that I would never ever say to them if I thought they could hear me… and then you both pull into the same place and when they get out you realize it’s actually someone you know and like and all the sudden all the stupid things they just did don’t seem so important anymore…no? Is that just me?
Anyway, don’t let the bastards get you down.
xo
I am afraid that common courtesy and civility will be lost forever unless we all do our part to promote it everywhere.
Dear Heather,
You’re a friend to me.
I take from your kind words and caring. You care that what you share is useful and insightful, you teach, you speak to us kindly. That means a lot to me because sometimes I’m at home trying to take care of my son, run a home and work, while getting that kind of minimum support that makes one feel like a single parent against the world. I read your posts all the time, but it is especially those times that I feel I have a friend and mentor that is kind and caring to me, and giving me the support, laugh, and joy of life that some days are truly missing.
On the days that your down, I appreciate you even more because your struggles and mistakes makes you sound perfect and very much like any friend that I can relate to – you’re perfectly imperfect …and hope to never be past perfect (i.e. Heather had a site).
Despite reading your letters for years, I haven’t commented because I don’t believe in making pointless random remarks on the Internet. It is enough for me to say to you that you are a friend to me – albeit a pretend friend, but the kind I need to make me smile and face my days better – turning frowns to smiles and smiles to laughs.
A heart felt thank you! What you do is very noticed, and appreciated by far.
Joe
I am a new follower and am sad to hear that ppl are nbeing such douche canoes to you. This was a beautiful response to the ugliness.
Hi Heather!
It seems that everyone is quite cranky lately. Instead of skipping a comment that is not nice, deleting it, or agreeing to disagree people feel the need to slam others.
I just take a deep breath and soldier on.
Thanks for your post!
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re getting mean comments and emails. I’ve really enjoyed your site, enjoyed it enough to have gone back through the archives, bit by bit, until I think I’ve read most if not all posts. (Just keep pushing the “previous post” button.) I hope that you can continue the site and sharing your views but I understand if it’s getting to be too much.
Dang! Go girl! Think you just made the soap smaller 😉 Don’t quit either. I enjoy your articles.
I love your site, I have read it for years, it is my go-to number one when I am feeling stuck around the house. I recommend it regularly to people. I appreciate your honesty, your balance between getting it done and sanity, and your personal notes about your life and events around you. My life has changed a lot over the last few years, and there have been times that you have helped a lot. I am sorry I did not give you props until after you got down about the jerks. Thanks for your work here.
Amen.
It seems everywhere you turn someone is shoving their officious advice ( beliefs on how to clean with which products, treat/ don’t treat your kids or your own ailments, where and what they buy) down your throat.
If I ask, please let the floodgates open it’s your show now.
However, this is on a whole new level of rude. These people come to you (& subscribe!)looking for advice which is FREE & then have the audacity to criticize and be ungrateful. Shameful. It’s amazing the amount of people who think they’re entitled to everything. I feel like the politeness is going out the window, especially in retail settings.
I did not know Wal-Mart did that pick up thing- as rude as people are nowadays, I dread going to the store at all. Thank you for that info, that makes me *smile*!
Thank you for your time, for sharing your experiences, recipes, etc. because if you didn’t try, I would have to wade through the myriad of solutions for every dilemma & I have no idea what I’m doing….which is why I came to you in the first place. 😉
I realized some time ago that it is important to thank bloggers who do this for US, and who do not ask us for anything in return. It takes a LOT of your time. I can take or leave the material whenever I want but your life is somewhat governed by the schedule of providing this free information. So, I thank you, I really appreciate your time and efforts, and I’ve used some of your info, as well as that of other bloggers who enrich my thinking about my home, my kitchen, and a lot more. Do I sometimes think my way is better? Yes. Do I sometimes but seldom strongly disagree on an opinion? Surely. Is it the end of my world and does it matter to you or me? Or anyone else, for that matter? Not in the slightest. Do I tell you about my differences with you? Actually, I don’t think very many people really care to know what I think and sometimes I am just not into trying something different if I’m happy with my recipe/plan/thoughts. I think my 70 years of life, my very successful 5 children and their very sweet families from 1 to 15 years old, my beautiful 1/2 acre garden, my happy kitchen, and my sweet and blessed life are worth a brag or two, but beyond that, I want to hear about your research, other thoughts, something that stretches me even if I decide “nope, not for me”. You keep going, know that I am happy with what you do, always glad to read your work, and know that I would be pretty disappointed if you gave in to the vocal negatives out there.
It’s easier to hear the squeaky wheels than the silent majority.
I subscribed when I found out I knew nothing about ceramic stove tops, or about cleaning with bleach, and that I needed a variety of gluten free dishes to get me through life. I’ve found your website to be quite helpful over the years. Don’t let a few rotten apples be reflective of your reader base 🙂
Your blog is just that- your blog. Some people have nothing better to do than criticize people they do not even know. I envy the time they have on their hands. Personally, I’ve been a faithful reader for a long time and I appreciate what you have shared with everyone. Your wisdom of all things domestica has helped me many times.
I am a very long-time reader. Yours is among a very few blogs that have been in my RSS feed for about as long as RSS feeds have existed! Great common sense, science, and humanity to be found here. Thank you for your dedication.
Your blog is kind, caring, helpful, and fun to read. Thank you very much for the time and energy you have put into it, in the midst of your busy life.