Heather says:
I want to introduce everyone to Michelle. Michelle, this is everyone. Do you remember back around New Years when I mentioned that I might be looking to add to the contributors here on Home-Ec101.com? Well, Michelle took me seriously, much to my delight. And as an added bonus she actually sews -something that in all honesty I haven’t even wanted to dive into here. I’m all thumbs when it comes to anything crafty, so that is a huge relief all in itself. Say hi and welcome her to Home-Ec101.
<threatening look> She’s wonderful and I hope she sticks around for a while, so be nice. </threatening look> You can visit her at DreamsUnreal.
Michelle says:
Birthday cake, macaroni and cheese, those little cups of pudding, and nuclear war-proof packets of snack cakes: these are only a few of the foods that never fail to conjure up memories of childhood. No matter your age, no matter how mindfully you eat, I bet that there are days you catch a peek at the snack food aisle and consider, if only for a second, grabbing a box of sandwich cookies and making a run for the nearest express checkout (lest anyone judge your partially hydrogenated cravings). Actually, I take that back—I don’t bet, I know. I know because I have been there, my friends. I have felt the shame of craving not food, but food product.
Unlike the stronger of you out there in Internetland, however, I cannot ignore an urge for a specific treat and expect it to just go away. No, I dwell on it—but refuse to actually go out and buy, say, oatmeal cream pies, because chemicals! Plus, they’re really sweet and I’m not even sure if they actually contain oatmeal, cream, or pie. Plus, there’s that whole awkward grocery store scene I mentioned before… So, I do what any good Home Ecaholic would—nay, should!—do: I made ‘em myself!
P.S. Bring these with you next time you go to a party. You may be surprised how many people share our dirty little snacky secret.
: Homemade Oatmeal Cream Pies
: Adapted from Martha Stewart’s Everyday Food
Notes: Though I don’t normally condone margarine for cookies, it is absolutely necessary to make the cookie turn out bendy rather than crisp. If the frosting is too cream cheese-y for your liking, add—one tablespoon at a time—up to an additional quarter cup of powdered sugar.
- For the cookie:
- 2 sticks margarine, softened
- 1 ¼ cups dark brown sugar
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 2 large eggs
- 1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
- 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
- 2 cups quick cooking (but not instant) oatmeal
- For the filling:
- 12 ounces cream cheese, softened
- 6 tablespoons powdered sugar
- In either a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment—or a large bowl and sturdy wooden spoon—cream the margarine and brown sugar until light and fluffy. Mix in the eggs and vanilla. The dough may look a little bit curdled at this point; this is normal and will resolve itself.
- Whisk together the flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, and nutmeg in a separate bowl.
- Stir the flour mixture into the wet ingredients; the dough will be very wet. Stir in the oatmeal, making sure to mix until the dough is well combined and only slightly sticky.
- Refrigerate the dough for about an hour, or until firm.
- Preheat the oven to 350. While the oven is heating, scoop the cookie dough into teaspoon sized balls. Place the balls two inches apart on an ungreased baking sheet. Wet your hands with cold water, then flatten the dough balls with your palms. Return the dough to the refrigerator once your baking sheet is full.
- Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes, or until the cookies’ edges are just beginning to brown.
- Transfer to cookie racks and repeat the scoop/flatten/bake process described above with the rest of the dough.
- Once the cookies have cooled, use a hand mixer to whip the softened cream cheese. Mix the powdered sugar into the whipped cream cheese.
- Spread the cream cheese frosting onto half of the cookies; top with the remaining unfrosted cookies.
- In either a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment—or a large bowl and sturdy wooden spoon—cream the margarine and brown sugar until light and fluffy. Mix in the eggs and vanilla. The dough may look a little bit curdled at this point; this is normal and will resolve itself.
- Whisk together the flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, and nutmeg in a separate bowl.
- Stir the flour mixture into the wet ingredients; the dough will be very wet. Stir in the oatmeal, making sure to mix until the dough is well combined and only slightly sticky.
- Refrigerate the dough for about an hour, or until firm.
- Preheat the oven to 350. While the oven is heating, scoop the cookie dough into teaspoon sized balls. Place the balls two inches apart on an ungreased baking sheet. Wet your hands with cold water, then flatten the dough balls with your palms. Return the dough to the refrigerator once your baking sheet is full.
- Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes, or until the cookies’ edges are just beginning to brown.
- Transfer to cookie racks and repeat the scoop/flatten/bake process described above with the rest of the dough.
- Once the cookies have cooled, use a hand mixer to whip the softened cream cheese. Mix the powdered sugar into the whipped cream cheese.
- Spread the cream cheese frosting onto half of the cookies; top with the remaining unfrosted cookies.
- Makes 36 oatmeal cream pies.
Good idea! My guilty pleasure is nutty bars. I have not been able to recreate the flavor or textures at home. Anyone have a recipe for homemade nutty bars?
Welcome Michelle! Welcome to the strange and twisted place that is Heather’s world. And even more to the point, you have all her twisted and messed up friends and followers to deal with now. Of course I am not one of those. No, I am quite normal. Just member #1 and chairman of the Heather Solos Fan Club.
Oh, and as for the oatmeal cream pies…. they look tasty. I will take a dozen.
Hi everybody! (“Hi Dr. Nick!”)
Michael, as for the cream pies… I accept payment in the form of francium and/or original animation cels from “The Simpsons.” Once the payment has cleared, you’ll receive your hopefully-not-stale treats in six to ten business days. What a deal, mirite?!
You are going to be just fine.
No! No! No! You are supposed to be bribing me! Didn’t Heather fill you in on how this is supposed to work?
Sorry, I’m new here. Can I sit at your lunch table? My mom packed oatmeal cream pies.
Those look delicious and I love that they are chemical free. They just look like a lot of work and most of the time I’m so lazy that I spread my chocolate chip cookie dough in a 13 x9 pan and bake it all at once. It’s faster to get out of the kitchen that way.
Anyhow…thanks for sharing…maybe I can talk my husband into making some.
You can bake the cookies in advance and store them in an airtight container for up to three days before making the filling, or you can freeze the unfilled cookies in an airtight container for up to a month (just be sure to bring them to room temperature before filling).
Having your husband make them for you miiiight be easier, though! 😉
These look great! Oatmeal Cream Pies were my favorite growing up and are still a guilty pleasure every six months or so. But I can’t wait to try these!