Stupid Questions: Holiday Edition

Kathy T is back with more Stupid Questions™. This time, it’s a holiday edition.

1. The tree is in my attic. Gathering dust. It’s an artificial 6- or 7-footer. What’s the best way to clean it before spreading the dust throughout my house?
   Heather – There are several methods you could try, depending on how dusty the tree is.
   Try taking it outside and using an air compressor or blow dryer on cool to blow the dust off.
   Slightly dusty trees may only need a good feather dusting, from top to bottom. (Careful so you don’t snag the feathers and decorate your tree with them)
   A truly filthy tree may need to be sprayed off with a hose.
   Ivy: Agreed with Heather. You can also try shaking the absolute crap out of it, too.
2. I love Advent calendars. Although it’s too late this year, is there an easy way to make about a dozen of them inexpensively, but nice?
   Ivy: Crafty Daisies has a great post rounding up several kinds of Advent calendars, I’m sure one of them would work for you.
3. You know all the bows gaily attached to windows during Christmas? How do homeowners get those suckers to stick?
   Heather – Mine are attached with suction cups. I believe I found the cups near the wreaths at a craft store or it may have been a Wal-mart type place.
   Ivy: My dad used duct tape, when they used those bows. Duct tape, it’s good for everything.
4. I want – no I need – a really good recipe for punch. I’m thinking I might bring that to my family Christmas party … something different, something great.
   Ivy: Wow ’em with wassail. Here are several recipes from AllRecipes. Careful, it’s a hot drink, so make sure to transport it safely.
5. Is it safe to eat the gingerbread house after Christmas?
   Ivy: It probably is safe, though it might taste stale. The few times I have made a gingerbread house, I’ve thrown mine away after Christmas. I know, such a waste.
6. This may not be so much as Home Ec 101 question as it is seeking advice. I have been told by liars friends that my speaking voice is of the good. But when I raise it in song, it sounds like a cacophony of toads, sawmills screeching, and cats squalling as they do naughty things. How can I convincingly fake my singing so I don’t get evil stares for my unmoving mouth during the holidays? And because I’m terrible at lip-synching as I always blurt out some sour note and have no rhythm, how can I cope?!
   Heather – Don’t let them steal your joy. It’s Christmas, if you want to sing carols, sing carols. I have a terrible singing voice and while you’ll never catch me doing karaoke, I do join in on my favorites. Think of what is being celebrated and just consider it a joyful noise.
   Ivy: Use an old theater trick- mouth the word “watermelon” over and over. It will look like you are singing the lyrics, but you won’t be tempted to burst out a sour note.
7. Is a hot glue gun really your friend?
   Heather – No.
   Ivy: Yes.
8. Which is better: a wreath attached to the front grill of your car or the reindeer ball on your antennae?
   Heather – Neither. The smile you plaster on your face or the wave (and not the one finger variety) you employ as you make your rounds this year.
   Ivy: I’m a big fan of reindeer balls.
9. When I wrap gifts, I’ve noticed there are two distinct ways to lay the paper on the end. You can either crunch in both sides and flip the top and bottom over for taping. Or you lay the top down over the edge, then crunch in the sides and bring the bottom up. Is there a better way?
   Ivy: My brother wraps gifts professionally. (He works at a bookstore.) He says the second method is better. Look for a tutorial later this month on present wrapping.
10. Eggnog is yummy. What’s the best way to dress it up?
    Ivy: Rum, lots of rum.
11. Should you get your pet a present? If yes, from where? Hee hee.
    Heather – Yes. The kitchen.
    Ivy: I can tell you where not to get one, heh.
12. Angel on tree top or star?
    Ivy: Santa’s on top of my Christmas tree. There is no other right way to decorate a tree, it must have Santa on top of it. 😉
13. Just how expensive would it be to change your tree decorations – from dozens of ornaments handed down over the years to a designer-type tree?
    Heather – Not too bad, if you nix the plan this year and just hit the after Christmas sales. However, if you have kids you will likely need to compromise with their favorites.
    Ivy: Why not have both? You can buy a little 4 foot tree for half nothing and decorate it like a designer tree, and have your main tree have all the sentimental decorations on it. Or vice versa.