Saturday Sit Down, Go Ahead, Grab a Cup of Coffee

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This update is going to wander a little bit, it covers a bit of ground, so if it’s anywhere near as cold and dreary as it is here this morning, grab yourself a warm beverage and settle in.

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve last written. I’d say a lot has happened. and that would be semi-accurate. A second round of COVID went through our household, catching those of us who did not get it in that first round, including myself.

My breakthrough case was relatively mild, but I’m still dealing with a few aggravating effects. I lost my sense of smell and taste and while most of that has returned a few things have come back, miswired and I’m quite unhappy as they are (were? 😞) some of my favorite things. I have no appetite which means getting my energy back is uphill work.

Throw in six kids, getting one ready to go to college next year and this Fall is one hell of a challenge.

I have so many ideas for things I want to do here, but I swear life is just humbling.

Me: Gets all prepped to begin shooting video content for this site. Starts practice recordings…
Life: Heeeere’s Delta. (sub-text no energy, no motivation, no anything for the next couple months)
Me: great. (This was at the end of September)

Monday I will start updating the Countdown to Turkey Day posts so those will be going out. Thanksgiving will be happening. What that will look like for your family, I don’t know.

I do know that If you want a 12 – 14 lb turkey, keep an eye out and buy it as soon as possible. I have read that those may not be easy to find this year.

What I am trying to do is give myself some grace. (How is that actually going, Heather? Don’t ask). What it LOOKS like is going to therapy and reading a lot about neurodivergence and thinking. Thinking about ways to make my life easier and ways to make life easier for those who ask Home-Ec101 for help.

In addition to reading, I’m watching quite a bit of TikTok. That may sound funny to some of you, but I have teenagers and I started to monitor them, as a parent should. The algorithm there is an interesting thing and naturally ended up seeing the part of TikTok known as CleanTok and while some of those videos are soothing in the hypnotic way they go from messy to clean, some of them can be shaming in the way they address things. I don’t care for that. I like the generally supportive ADHD/ASD community that admits they struggle with self-care (cleaning your home and daily maintenance tasks fall under self-care). This community also offers ways they cope with that. This I appreciate

Life is hard enough, I don’t want anyone who comes here to feel judged. If I have ever made any of you feel judged in the past, I’m sorry, it was never my intent.

You may see me start to use words that might be a little unfamiliar like “doom piles” (that’s the pile of clutter that you just can’t face, even if you have the rest of an area clean). That’s just me using the words that people looking for the help and community they need are already using. The help has been here for years:

Feeling Desperate

Dear Home-Ec, I’m Overwhelmed

My Daughter is Feeling Desperate and I Need Help

It just might not have been in a way that could be easily found.

Anyhow, that’s where we’ve been. Buried in getting better, a little at a time. Hoping that I have enough energy and maybe even some appetite to feel like cooking once again. Hoping that ginger and red wine taste good again. Please, please, please.

Onward and upward, we’ve all got this. Please do what you can to all of us help each other climb out of this mess.

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13 thoughts on “Saturday Sit Down, Go Ahead, Grab a Cup of Coffee”

  1. I’m so sorry you have had to go through all this stuff and hope the Covid after-effects will clear up (and go away completely! Is that too much to ask for? I don’t think so.)

    And I think you are amazing to have kept up as well as you have. Onward!!

    • I first learned that my sense of smell hadn’t returned correctly when I was making chicken paprikash for the family. I added a healthy dollop of ginger paste instead of fresh ginger because I’d been avoiding the store. When the smell hit me I thought it had gone bad. The rest of the family thought I had gone insane. I was so mad at how I’d ruined the meal with bad ginger —it truly smelled putrid to me.
      A week later we were doing an on your own night and I’d fixed myself a really nice cheese plate and had poured a nice glass of wine, Ray was in charge of bath & bed time for the little girls. Heaven. I had a book, settled in, took a sip and spit it right back out. I nearly cried. I can’t even describe what it tasted like, but it was bad.
      I don’t trust myself right now, so I just cook from memory and make other people taste it before serve. Most foods taste fine, but. . .

  2. I think I have a doom pile in my home office. I really need to address that. Maybe this weekend?

    And I have this dear friend that I have let down. A fantastic person that I am supposed to talk to weekly but that hasn’t happened recently. I am feeling really guilty and ashamed of that, and so I need to find a way to make it up to her. 🙁

    Miss you!

      • Yup, done. Well, at least for the time being… 😉

        An apple pie might be able to be arranged. I am in the mood to do some holiday baking. And I never kid about apple pies…

        You say we are good, but I worry!! We need to talk soon. And I still need to deal with my doom pile.

  3. I’m so sorry you are going through this. You have a lot on your plate for a healthy person.
    Please ease up on your self and rest when you can. Your body will appreciate it.

    • Having six kids kind of filled up the plate in the first place 🙂

      We’re getting through this, like we do everything else, one day, one step at a time.
      Life just likes to remind me it’s not on my terms.

  4. Welcome to the neurodiverse community! As a parent, spouse and member of this group, I super appreciate your acknowledgment of our existence and our particular struggle with all the demands of adulting that include keeping our environment tidy and clean. Don’t push yourself too hard to come back from COVID. We’ll be here when you’re up for it.

    • I’m pretty sure I should have been here a while. I was too busy overthinking and wearing a badly fitting mask at the wrong party. 🙃
      I’ve been raising a fantastic young man and through that I’ve been recognizing more and more over the years. (Also there’s the whole girls/women don’t have that bias of my generation) I’m not sure I’ll pursue an official diagnosis, unless my therapist recommends it, but I’ve learned so many things that have made my life easier.
      I’ve also spent so much less time looking for things.

  5. I hope that everyone is on the mend at your place!

    This is very relatable, Heather. I once saw a (Reddit? Twitter?) reply that said “Either people with ADHD need to stop being so relatable or I need to go to the doctor.” And well, I haven’t been to the doctor about it, but maybe I should.

    Anyway, I haven’t seen tidying up framed as self-care but I agree it can be! And it might be super helpful for me to start thinking that way.

    I have zero excuses for the clutter/mess situation but a feature of ADHD is motivation being tied to stimulation, including the stimulation of stress from an impending deadline. And with no company coming over for well over a year because of C19, there really is no deadline.

    A related, shame-free blog/Twitter feed I like is @TeamUfYH (unf*ckyourhabitat).

    • I just saw someone say, that people who are diagnosed late in life tend to have friends that they REALLY relate to. So if you are THAT friend, maybe you should make an appointment.
      I started laughing until my husband looked over and asked what was wrong.
      One of my best friends in the world lives far away, but when we talk it’s always as if no time has passed and it can go on for hours. I love her multithreaded stories, she eventually gets to her original point, but it’s an adventure along the way.
      When we met there was instant chemistry, we’ll be friends for life. She’s also exactly just one example of who that person meant.

  6. Heather, I so look forward to your emails. They are honest and uplifting. I went through 3 weeks of a bad cold and can relate to low energy, not wanting to cook and doing the minimum around the house. I was still doing 40 plus hours at work. Treat yourself like you do your best friend, be kind and gentle and know this will pass. Again thank you for all the times you have lifted my spirits and made me laugh. Your friend, sue


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